1 Take responsibility for your own life
You’re responsibility for your thought, action, feeling, decisions and their consequences. Unless you take responsibility, you will not strive to change what can be changed. Rather, you’ll blame people or live event for the way you think and feel. A person who doesn’t take responsibility is a victim.
2. Be flexible in your thinking
We all have needs. But when these become so demanding, we become stressed
Try to adopt a flexible philosophy: Change what you can change and adjust to what you can’t change. Eliminate absolutist thinking, such as: should, ought and must from your vocabulary.
3. Accept reality as a mixture of good and bad
Accept the reality of unfairness. Accept that you’re not always right.
Accept that the things change. Accept that circumstances are not usually clear-cut or black and white. The world –including you- is a mixture of a good and bad, rather than all bad and good. Accept that it’s ok to be good enough.
4. Savor the moment
At times, slow down and reflect on the world around you. What’s important in your life? Set goals those give you direction but don’t be a slave to them. Enjoy the journey to the goal rather than just arriving at a destination. Deliberately vary the pace in your life
Mixing periods of activity with period of calm, seek out laughter, fun, change and creativity.
5. Learn to live with frustration
Build up your tolerance of frustration by putting your self into frustrating situation
View the situation as a challenge rather than something to avoid
Challenge your underlying beliefs that, ‘I can’t stand it’ with ‘I don’t like it, but I can stand it’. Frustration is necessary part of life and important for any personal progress
6. Accept and care for your self
We are all fallible: complex mixture of good and bad, strength and weakness.
Accept you’re unique. Like your self or at least find parts of your self that you like
Be committed to looking after your self
Challenging any guilt that might engender
Look after your body, eat healthy food and take exercise. Treat your self with reward.
7. Express positive and negative feelings
Express your thought, feeling and emotion in an open, assertive, way without violating the right of other
Learn to say ‘No’
Accept that other may have different preferences, and this may result in anger, sadness & disappointment which need to express.
Seek out and communicate laughter.
8. Work toward goals
Identify and own what you want out of life and what is important to you
Make sure that your goals are both short and long-term in all areas of your life
These goals give you life of direction and meaning. Be committed but not rigid.
Make sure that these goals are not contradictory or too demanding
Accept that these will short-term frustration in working toward any long-term goal.
9. Think rationally and creatively
Work out your own solution rather than accepting what you’ve been told
Ask yourself what alternative view there re-evaluate message from your childhood
Identify and challenge rigid thinking and beware of thinking distortions.
Put your self in control of decision you make in your self. At the same time, encourage creativity and spontaneity.
10. Manage your time and maintain a balance
Achieve a balance between work and leisure, family and friends, being serious and having fun, being alone and being with people.
Know what you want out of your life and set your own agenda and priorities.
Occasionally put aside time to contemplate what’re be important values in life and whether your maintaining a balance.
11. Develop hobbies and absorbing interest
Experiment until you fined interest that is absorbing, meaningful and fulfilling to you. Then pursue it.
Commit your self to your new interest and invest time and energy. If this activity is work, develop other interest to counterbalance it. Aim for a variety of interest in case one fails
12. Develop and maintain relationship
Value and nurture friendship and show commitment
Communicate openly and be a good listener
Accept other for what they are rather than trying to change them
Try not to be critical. Develop a network of support
Make a standing date with your spouse, confidant, best friend or children.
Value people with whom you feel relaxed and can be your self
Enjoy your self and Good Luck
Free your self from harmful stress By: Trevor Power